A lot of people are looking for love in all the wrong online places.

A recent survey by the University of Leicester suggests that as many as 200,000 people in the UK have fallen victim to online dating scams. Typically masterminded by con artists in Nigeria or Ghana, the scams take advantage of people’s desire for romance to swindle them for money.

They first set up fake identities, usually posing as a member of the military stationed in Afghanistan or Iraq, or an overseas worker such as a nurse. And they use pictures gotten from the Internet to make themselves look legitimate.  They then find people on dating sites or, more deviously, social network sites that share a common interest such as a type of music or religion. Even someone who might have heard of these so-called Nigerian scams might be less guarded meeting someone on, say, christianmingle.com. And once a person shows interest and starts chatting the impostors will go to extraordinary lengths to win that person’s trust before attempting to get money out of them. As a legitimate online romance might form, they chat consistently, and their tone becomes increasingly intimate. A random gift might show up, like a teddy bear saying “I Love You.” If the person isn’t put off, then it’s time for the next stage. They’ll tell the person they need to replace a cell phone, or to borrow a small amount of money. If that works they go for the real money.

Many of the con artists will say that their remote location requires them to get paid in money orders. Invariably, something “goes wrong” and they’re “unable” to cash their pay. They then ask the unsuspecting party if they could deposit the money orders and wire them back the cash.

MSNBC reported the story of Theresa Smalley, who’d been asked by “Richie,” who she believed was a contractor working in Nigeria, to cash two $900 money orders for him. Supposedly, he was set to leave Nigeria and come back to the US, and the two would finally meet after a four month e-romance. But he needed the money from the money orders which, for some reason, he was having trouble cashing. Smalley cashed the money orders and sent Ritchie the $1,800.

A couple weeks later Smalley received a call from her bank. Seems each of the $900 money orders had been purchased for $20 each and then “washed” to look like $900. In the end, Smalley had to pay $1,800 to the bank. And just like her money, her romantic dreams vanished too. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever known that this is all a part of an elaborate online scam,” she told MSNBC. “He spent four months gaining my trust and he did it.”

Changing social norms has made online dating big business. (from onlineschools.org)

While no one wants to be out $1,800, the price to pay for a faux love is often much higher. The survey identified 592 people who have gotten scammed between 2010 and 2011. Of these victims 203 had lost over £5,000 (almost $8,000 at today’s conversion rate). The smallest amount a person reported losing was £50, the most, £240,000, or about $380,000!

Love is blind indeed.

Personally, I’d never heard of online romance scams. But the University of Leicester report found that 52% of people had at least heard of these scams and that one in every 50 (2%) actually knew someone who had been scammed. Extrapolating to the total UK population, the researchers conclude that over 200,000 people in the country may have been victims. That’s a lot of cash, and a lot of heartache. “This is a concern not solely because people are losing large sums of money,” Professor Monica Whitty, a psychologist at the University and lead author of the study, said in a press release, “but also because of the psychological impact experienced by victims of crime.”

The fact that so many people are falling victim to romance scams speaks to, not only the enormous popularity of online dating sites, but to the disintegrating line between real and virtual socialization. Remember when online dating used to be something only for desperate people? We’re clearly over that, and it might surprise you to learn what demographic is logging in for love the most. No longer the domain of twenty and thirtysomethings, today the largest group of Americans using online dating sites are people 55 and older. The Internet tracking firm Experian Hitwise reports a 39 percent increase in online dating website use for this age group in the past three years. And the second most active online dating group is age 44 to 54.

Changing social norms that make it okay for your mother to meet strangers online have made online dating big business. Statistics compiled by onlineschools.org show that 40 million Americans are using online dating sites. In China, 140 million people are. The average age of people in the US using the sites is 48, and they’re spending an average of $239 to use them per year. In 2010 the online dating industry was worth $1.049 billion per year, which makes it bigger than the porn industry, according to onlineschools.org.

Since most of the people using online dating sites are 55 and older, it’s no surprise that most of the dating scam victims come from the same age group. And the fact that about 200,000 people in Britain have fallen victim to the scams means that, as social norms evolved to make online dating ordinary, scam strategies evolved too. “When they invented the car, the con artist could drive to the next country,” Rhonda Cook, who operated the crime-fighting site straightshooter.net, told MSNBC.

Websites such as straightshooter.net are the next step in the online dating dance. romancescam.com, unlike straightshooter, is aimed exclusively at protecting people against the kinds of dating scams that Theresa Smalley had fallen for. They currently have almost 35,000 members.

Most of us have made bad choices in the name of romance. But those mistakes don’t normally cost thousands of dollars. The survey showed that about half of the people asked had heard of the dating scams. The survey’s other numbers show that there’s clearly room for improvement. “Enjoy the relationship, but keep your money to yourself,” is Cook’s advice. “That way, if it goes wrong, all you’re going to lose is your heart.”

[image credits: The Telegraph and onlineschools.org]
image 1: Online Dating Scam
image 2: onlineschools.org